How Much Is Too Much Self Care?

When we think about self care, it’s an increasingly familiar story. Registered Psychologist Megan Webster from The Resilience Centre brings us back to reality and guides us through the basics …

I was recently scrolling online and came across an influencer. She seemed to have it all: youth, beauty, money. She seemed to spend her days in luxury. She took the audience through her daily routines. Morning beauty rituals, workouts, journaling, green juices and vitamins. An enviable life. Suddenly, she makes a vulnerable video discussing how unhappy she is. Her life feels unfulfilling and directionless. Her solution? She needs to do more self care. I find myself confused. It seems her whole life consists of self care. What has gone wrong?

What actually is self care?

It seems there has been some confusion about what self care actually is. In a nutshell, self care is simply maintaining habits that meet your needs. It’s as simple as this. Somehow external beauty, body sculpting, luxury products and treating yourself have all come into the mix. All these things can be good in their own way, but they are not the definition of what it means to practice ‘self care’.

When is self care no longer useful?

Self care is best when it is exactly what its title suggests – simply taking care of ourselves. But the widening of the definition to a range of other external things can lead us down an unhelpful path. For example, consider the reasons behind this influencer’s self care routines.. Is she attempting to maintain beauty and youth which are both fleeting? Perhaps she is attempting self-improvement and has found herself on an endless treadmill of ‘not good enough’? Maybe she is trying to live up to someone else’s standards and is unsure of her own goals and values? Helpful self care simply meets our basic human needs and it does not ask us to be better or seek the approval of anyone.

Beyond self care, where is the meaning?

Self care is really a very simple and narrow set of habits. If you are well fed, well watered, clean, dry and warm and in good health, but you are not happy, then it is time to consider more meaningful steps. Is there someone you know, in your family, friendships, workplace, or community that could use some care? As humans we thrive in connection and community, too much self-focus and self-examination can leave us feeling isolated, fatigued, and empty. Caring for others (as well as ourselves) can increase connection, give us perspective, a sense of belonging and worth. And it can really turn around someone else’s day.

Keep self care simple and to the best of your ability: 

• stay well hydrated,
• eat healthy regularly,
• move your body every day,
• rest plenty when opportunity presents
• go to the doctor when you are unwell
• take your prescribed medication 
• practice daily hygiene
• get good quality sleep

Where to next?