Quick Enquiry Call Us

Search

If you cant find what you're after please don't hesitate to contact us.


Quick Enquiry

Enquire now for further information about therapy, training or research at The Resilience Centre. Your enquiry will be treated with the strictest confidence and we will reply to you soon.

Keep updated
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Finding Hope in Your Relationships

By Ivette Moutzouris

Registered Psychologist

I am a strong believer in hope. I wouldn’t be working in this field if I didn’t believe that change is possible and looking forward is definitely part of the process.

If I had to put it in my own words it means looking forward with a desire and yearning that things can get better. Without hope we are stuck and oftentimes we are stuck looking at what we don’t have, what hasn’t worked out and if you remain in the frame of mind long enough you can start to feel down and lose the very thing that can propel you forward……hope!

We need to believe that things can get better so that they do get better. But this doesn’t mean that life becomes perfect with this attitude. It means that we search for the meaning and sometimes the acceptance of what was and what is. By making some sense of the past and the present we can learn to improve, to make better choices, to change our expectations. We can also see what has worked (even if this didn’t happen often) and take better control of our immediate future by reproducing it again and again. In Psychological terms this perspective is called Solution Focused Therapy. It is the idea that change occurs when we focus on solutions rather than the problem. This doesn’t mean we disregard the problem(s) it simply means that solving our problems involves focusing on what’s working or has worked in the past instead of over focusing on what hasn’t. I have recently been reading a book on marriage- saving techniques which has this focus and in the first few chapters I was impressed by the author’s strong conviction that marriages can improve. She often had hope for her clients even when they seemed to have lost hope and she taught them how to look for exceptions in their marriage (i.e. times when things were going well) and to work on building on what already existed that was good. She found that this approach not only encouraged more immediate change but it also gave her clients a more practical and hopeful way of looking at their relationships. She also stressed that if something wasn’t working then adopt a different approach. This may seem obvious and simplistic but she did point out that in our relationships we often get stuck relating and reacting a certain way and this becomes a habit.

This approach is not only proactive but it is also reflective and hopeful because it is making a decision that things can be different and learning how to put this into practice. Once we experience a positive change it gives us hope into our future. It is an encouraging way of looking at your life. Instead of focusing on the negative we learn to be wiser as we reflect on the past, live in the now and look forward to the future.

 

Weiner-Davis, Michelle.1992. Divorce Busting. New York. Simon & Schuster Paperbacks.

Ivette Moutzouris
Author's other posts

We acknowledge the Traditional Owners of the land where we work, the Darug and Guringai people and pay our respects to Elders past, present and emerging. We celebrate the stories, culture and traditions of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Elders of all communities who also work and live on this land.

The Resilience Centre

Therapy

Training

Research

Podcast

Blog

Information

About

Our Practitioners

NDIS

Medicare Benefits

Changing Your Appointment

Recent News

Podcast

Contact

Suite 401, Level 4,
51 Rawson Street
Epping NSW 2121

Mon – Fri 8.30am – 5.30pm
Sat 8.30am – 5.00pm

Privacy Policy

Privacy Policy (GDPR)

Cookie Policy

Social Media Terms

© 2024 The Resilience Centre. All rights reserved.

Created by Codex.

0
    0
    Your Cart
    Your cart is emptyReturn to Shop
      Calculate Shipping
      Apply Coupon
      Unavailable Coupons
      codex Get 60% off